In the Spaces in Between

You will have heard this before- the magic is in the transition. Or to put it simply- the magic can only occur in the spaces in between….things……

This is especially true in music; a melody is only truly heard because there is silence between the notes. My main instrument has always been the Baroque recorder. Towards the end of school, when I was practising for recitals, I did 2-3 hours practise a day. Being an enterprising teenager, I used to do a couple of those hours at the bottom of the staircase in Covent Garden tube station; the acoustics were fantastically suited to my beautiful Mollenhauer boxwood treble and the Opera House crowd were educated, appreciative, and generous. I used to make £60 an hour, for work I would need to do anyway; easy money compared to a pub shift dodging bikers in the wine bar in East Finchley.

I still love the formality of Baroque tradition- there is no slurring in Baroque wind music, only a soft or a hard tongue, TKTKTK for the solos, slurring of notes came later in history, popularised in the romanticism of the Renaissance construct and only when the greater clarity was made technically possible by the advent of the modern flute.

The true magic of the melancholy Baroque lament is heard in the spaces between the notes.

This is a universal principle- if we want amazing things to happen, we have to allow room in our lives for the new thing to occur. Or we need to take action to open up a space where there previously there was none.

Making space for the change to occur is the key to giving ourselves permission on the deepest level for that thing to be possible. Or in PD psychobabble speak; we are taking positive action to remove those subconscious blocks.

Examples of this are clearing out the garage for the arrival of new car, jettisoning clothes that belong to an old version of you, de-cluttering unnecessary possessions ready for a move, or making space in your bedroom for the partner you might be seeking.

Insanity is repeating the same action over and over again and expecting a different outcome.

Those of you who know me personally will know that this has been a year of radical change for team McNelipot!

I’m still feeling my way towards a new future- some goals have changed, others are now completely irrelevant within the new paradigm.

And countless others are still to be categorised…or realised…..

To find a new path we must first open ourselves up to new possibilities.

I’m getting better at that! Although I still find myself making some decisions from a place of fear.

So I have been reading about the art of making conscious decisions.

Choice is part of the magical process that converts our thoughts into reality, and our energies into occurrences. Every single choice we make can either be made from a place of fear or from a place of  power- and thus every choice will either lead to expansion or constriction, to freedom or captivity, to creation or destruction.

We are offered 35000 choices  a day, apparently. Unless we practise the art of conscious decision making, our learned patterns of response and our self limiting beliefs will keep us making the choices that limit us to our safe, familiar, comfortable lives, all while we complain that it is circumstance which conspires to keep us trapped in our humdrum routine.

Many of the choices I have made in my life, some for an easy life, some for academic efficiency and many as the pathological people pleaser, have actually led to constriction not expansion. In seeking to preserve comfort in my existence, or to stick to the safe, better known path, I have inadvertently been saying no to wider opportunities.

Some of my drivers are emotional safety, keeping control of my destiny, fear of losing my self sufficiency, fear of loss, fear of change.

My positive drivers are a love of learning, a love of new experiences, a need to learn new skills. Some contradictions there!

Now I am obviously a pretty high achiever, in my career, in my chosen sports, in my hobbies, so in many measurable terms, this manner of making choices has not limited my more tangible achievements, such as income, career, holidays, routes ticked, adventures. But is has limited many of the ancillary experiences I might have had along the way. I have missed side turnings and detours that might have led to magic.

It’s not so much what we choose that becomes important, but exactly how we made that choice, that will determine the energetic outcome.

What are the motivations that made us choose the thing we did?

A simple spotlight question- Did that decision come from a place of power or a place of fear? 

A useful test question- rather than goal setting, have you tried fear setting? What is actually the worst thing that could happen?

Am I choosing consciously or I am blindly repeating an old and familiar pattern?

What would it take to make a different type of choice?

How could I make this decision from a place of power not a place of fear?

Our beliefs about ourselves and our own capabilities, as well as our construct of the world, will determine our possibilities, and our limits.

Our beliefs shape our choices, our choices affect our actions, and our actions determine our outcomes. This is true at every level and in every aspect of life.

Those of you who know me and Cal will know that the grey horse has occupied a huge place in my heart ever since he arrived, the pink roan pony from Ireland that broke his knee after a few months and yet still came good. The emotional investment in a much loved horse is huge, especially one that regularly finds new and imaginative ailments on which to expend your time, energy and money.

Rocky, although much loved asa personality, has always been second string both in his training and energy invested. This was entirely appropriate when he was a youngster out in the field, or just starting in light work. But he will be rising 8 in spring, and now he really does need to learn his job, and grow into those very posh genes.

I’m beginning to realise I am probably a serial monogamist where horses are concerned. Polo grooming a string of 7 didn’t count because none of them were actually mine.

So when the opportunity came recently for Cal to go on loan for the winter, to a trusted friend, although I dreaded the thought of being without him, although my first reaction was “you must be crazy”, deep down, I absolutely knew it made sense. Allowing him to go away for a bit has instantly made mental head space and physical time for Rocky. This has meant that on the cold dark days when work has been tough, there is no juggling act, just a clear, clean choice….what do I do with Rocky today?

Only in Cal’s absence will Rocky get my full attention and the emotional investment that the not so young youngster needs at this stage to turn him into an upstanding citizen and fantastic riding horse.

Rocky’s real name is Royal Magic….let’s see what magic shows up.

And watch out world- opening doors with conscious positive intent becomes a habit….